40 and fabulous or 40 and floundering?

Photo by Gena Buza

Did any of you find yourself 40something and start to wonder where your life went?  Has time become pouring sand in your hands that you’re trying desperately to hold on to?  

This girl says, yes.  

For me I have had several events in my life, one after the other, that have held me in a place of circling emotion and confusion.  Almost like a tornado sweeping me up into it’s vortex.  When the swirling stopped I was left dizzy, disoriented and the lay of the land was different now.  I was different now.  Not to mention older, fatter and more wrinkled - blah.  Honestly for a girl like me, and maybe you, who has a lot that she wants to accomplish, it’s frustrating to not have all my ducks in a row - all the while feeling like time is slipping away.

In this time I have been forced to re-evaluate my needs, my wants, my dreams and even my place in the Kingdom.  I haven’t figured that all out, yet, but the Lord did reveal something to me.  

While I am traveling along this twisted path, He has been developing my senses.  My hearing is becoming more keen to the whispers of the Spirit.  My eyes are opening wider to see what truly matters.  My heart beat is slowing down so I am able to breathe in the raw truths of Scripture.  I have been given gifts that could have never been properly received on a path devoid of struggle.  Why? When the path gets dimmer, we must focus harder to see the light. 

What He reminded me, again today (and every day I seem to forget), is that His purposes are completely intact even when I don’t know where I am going.  I feel like I’m waiting for the road to be paved in front of me but He already paved the entire journey!  I am a traveler on a road paved by the greatest travel agent of all time! 

Does this take away the struggle, not really.  Am I still left each day feeling 40something and having to decide what my attitude and outlook will be?  

Yep.

But when I can remember the one who guides me knows the way I can take pause, focus and receive the gifts He lavishes on me…His presence, His comfort, His wisdom.